There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
