I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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