Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
