They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize