ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
