my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm always down for nudity.
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