i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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