I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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