my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
