Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
