he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
