I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
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