Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Dignity is for republicans.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
