Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Randomize
