i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
