therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
