So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
