One girl and one boy is just not enough.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
