omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
