whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
