I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
FUCK WHALES
Someone signed my nipple.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
