but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
