Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
