I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
