So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
