How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize