dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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