Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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