Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
