how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
