thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
