The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
