I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
