Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
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