i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
