I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
