just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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