I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
