and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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