ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
