Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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