you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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