the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize