needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
