I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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