maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
