my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
