we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
