Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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