i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
