yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
