I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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