called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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