Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
