We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
