remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You smell like stripper and shame
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
is wine microwaveable?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
