She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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