Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Even my vagina gasped.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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