It's Friday. Sex?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
