ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Say something about gay babies.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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