I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
